Archive by Author | Nichol Caddingham

Modern Gentlemen …

I suppose if one must be a boar, being the biggest one around deserves some merit.

… cannot abide bores. Generally speaking, these are people raised — either by their own standards or those of another — too wealthy to be gritty but not wealthy enough to be flippant.


Modern Gentlemen …

As a blogger, I sometimes have felt like a zombie in “Dawn of the Dead” (1978): A hollow representation of life trying to maintain a semblance of normality. Worse, I have the audacity to provide readers advice on a subject with which I have some knowledge but little experience. So perhaps by writing less, I’ll have more to write.

… , having blogged daily for more than a year,  feel justified posting once a week from now on.

St. Louis

A modern gentleman is leaving now for a weekend in America’s greatest city.

If you need him, he will be the man drinking a Schlafly and eating an Imo’s Pizza under the Arch.


It might surprise some to learn that I listen to Sean Hannity in the car, and it might be even more surprising that I get something out of his show and sometimes find myself agreeing with his points — with a few caveats. I will not listen today, waiting until he cools off a little to state his arguments clearly.

So interested was a modern gentleman in the Supreme Court’s decision regarding the Affordable Care Act, he could not sleep, rising early to doze through a painful, yet much-hyped, interview between Ann Curry and Matthew McConaughey and watch Pete Williams struggle to be a reporter.

Still, he got the headline: The court did what the court was intended to do and adhered to the principle of stare decisis, exhibiting restraint and providing an example to all during politically tumultuous times.

Homesick Toast

I’m making this tomorrow morning.

Simple Provisions

Homesick Avocado on Toast

I have fully embraced the New York breakfast of boiled dough spread thick with an inch of cream cheese.

Bagels fuel the working week in NYC. Every Tuesday at work there is a long meeting that uses bagels to lure people in. We take turns in bringing the bagels, which means we start each meeting dissecting today’s batch, comparing them to the reigning favourite provider. If you bring sub-par bagels, you put productivity in jeopardy. These chewy rolls demand respect, and I’m happy to give it to them.

But sometimes, I miss Australian breakfasts.

A thick slice of toast smothered in creamy avocado and spiked with fresh herbs and citrus is happiness on a plate to me. It tastes like home, or, more specifically, a menu item at one of my favourite cafes in Melbourne. So when I feel a longing for Australia, I make Homesick Toast.

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When Harry Met Sally

Nora Ephron died yesterday, leaving a legacy of honest and hilarious works.

What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

— Harry Burns (Billy Crystal)

A modern gentleman agrees with the sentiment.

In his experience, a long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman is doomed from the start because it’s based on dishonesty or ignorance. Either the man or the woman — and it’s sometimes mutual — is attracted to the other but fears or even experiences rejection and settles for a safer route, endeavoring to maintain a non-sexual relationship with a person with whom they enjoy spending time.

But this is not a route at all, it’s a fork. While it may be a perfectly lovely fork, featuring lush trees and an antique road sign, that never wants for company as others pass through, it’s a fork.

Or, in memory of Nora Ephron, it’s being stuck in the second act of “When Harry Met Sally,” and it’s ultimately best for the personal growth of everyone to make a choice and move along.

Social Experiments

The things I like most about this chart are that it is ridiculously simplistic, a .gif and made in Microsoft Paint.

A modern gentleman has conducted economic research, using himself as a test subject. He has come to two conclusions:

  • After living in a cooperative with seven other graduate students, a modern gentleman learned that communism only works if everyone in the microcosm is communist. If even one person does not espouse the ideology of “share and share alike,” all of the spoons will end up locked away.
  • For the last year, a modern gentleman has toyed with platonic prostitution, extrapolating a theory he had as a restaurant critic for the Palm Beach Post (“Only fools pay for their own food”). Basically, he thought of his life in terms of billable hours, taking on any task that introduced revenue or finding a way to make money at unavoidable tasks and minimizing activities for which he did not benefit financially — directly or otherwise. He also endeavored to eliminate those that actually cost him money. A modern gentleman has learned that this is no way to live in the long term, but there are definite short-term advantages.