Spare Change

A modern gentleman needn’t experience the loss of a favorite aunt to gain financially. A nickel qualifies as a windfall, if it is five cents a modern gentleman did not have — or did not know he had — before.

Columbia seems to have more cents per square foot of sidewalk than any other city in America.

A modern gentleman stoops for change because:

  • he pays attention to details,
  • 100 pennies make a dollar and 100 dollars make a new pair of shoes,
  • it adds an element of caprice to his otherwise battened demeanor,
  • he wears pants that fit.

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