A modern gentleman’s sister transposes the “e” and “r” in the adjective forms of directions. She pronounces “Northwestern University” and “southernmost” as though they are “Northwestren University” and “southrenmost.” He loves it.
Similarly, a modern gentleman knows someone who substitutes “ideals” for “ideas,” which he finds so wonderfully optimistic.
He would like to develop a quirk of his own and has come up with two possibilities:
- Only use the indefinite article “a,” placing an “n” at the beginning of nouns that start with a vowel (for example, a nEskimo or a nicecream bar).
- Refer to New Hampshire as “New Hamster.”